In the privacy of my own thoughts I wonder how can it be that this beautiful thing, my vagina could do such a thing to me? To let me down in such an embarrassing way, when I just want to run, laugh and jump and enjoy my day.
Dear vagina how can it be, that you are two ends of the spectrum to me?
At one of the spectrum I can get carried away, in the pleasure you bring and the love that you give. You bring love and affection, you can even bring forth new life, you solidify my marriage and spice up my life. Yet you can have another side that can reduce me to tears even if it was never your intention. Why can’t you just be for pleasure? Love.
The other end of the spectrum is marred in the misery and pain, embarrassment and sadness I live with each day. I’ve let you down, not recognising your relevance or importance, your role in my everyday functional life. Now you, vagina, control all my decisions; from the clothes that I wear, to the foods that I eat, the drinks and even the activities I choose. No longer able “carry my load” now lacking that vital strength, so I have to “protect” myself so the world won’t know, no accidents, you cannot be visible. I feel like my life has been altered in such a hopeless way, I’ve lost my confidence, I just want to stay home all day, isolated, safe, but lonely, I just want to mask you, what can I do, is this really my destiny I am only 32! It’s a Pelvic Floor Secret I’m not prepared to share, a Pelvic Floor Secret I just can’t bear! Does every woman suffer like this? Hate.